10 Highly Sensitive People Share What Helps Them Take the Sting Out of Criticism

Criticism can be expressly nonflexible for highly sensitive people considering we try so nonflexible and we superintendency so much. It’s really fascinating how much it can stupefy HSPs in particular.

I want to share that considering it normalizes our experience, to know we’re not vacated in how we wits things. I certainly have ripened some tools to help with criticism but can still be impacted at times.

On an unrecognized survey I posted, someone wrote that they find my voice so shrill that they could not stand listening to me. I felt the sting.

But it’s important to realize criticisms are opinions that vary from person to person, and therefore, we have to be shielding well-nigh what we take in and what we believe. To provide an example of that, many others have shared my voice is soothing, calm, and nurturing. Notice how opposite those opinions are?

So the next time you receive criticism, I want you to remember this example and know that criticism has nothing to do with us personally and usually comes from a painful place inside another. People are going to have many variegated types of opinions. What’s important is that we don’t soak them in.

It’s helped a lot to do my own personal growth work and build my self-esteem. When my self-esteem was low, criticisms knocked me lanugo hard, and for a long time. When I had no personal value, I believed the criticism.

It took time to build up my sense of self, and it will take time to build yours if that’s an issue for you too.

When you finger the sting, unclose it and requite yourself some compassion. Remind yourself of your value and your intentions. Also, focus on some positives well-nigh you so that negativity bias of the smart-ass doesn’t take over. Remember, it takes eight positives to neutralize one negative.

Not everyone is going to like us, and that’s okay. What’s important is that we learn to love and support our sensitive hearts and know our intentions come from good places.

I don’t think anyone is completely immune to the impacts of criticism. Case in point, here’s what some HSPs in my Sensitive Empowerment Community commented without reading some of my thoughts on criticism:

1. The power of self-compassion

“I remember when I would be hurt when I was a kid my mom would tell me to ‘get over it.’ I remember that stuff invalidating, unhelpful, and unquestionably hurt me more. I think it would be powerful to teach our sensitive children the art of self-compassion. Can you imagine a whole generation of sensitive children raised with self-compassion? I have found that skill to be one of the weightier things that I’ve developed. It helps me with everything now. I think that it’s probably a tool that we can constantly sharpen.”

2. The importance of self-care

“Criticism is still extremely nonflexible on me to the point where it will put me out of legation for a minute (or days even). I’m working on not letting others’ criticism flatten me. I just know, when my rest and my health are in order, it’s much easier to shake it off. When I finger criticized, I’m starting to immediately make a list of people who support me and think differently than people who criticize me and speak unkindly.”

3. It’s increasingly well-nigh them than us

“I find criticism extremely difficult. For me, there is a family wound virtually criticism, so I can have a deep, painful reaction. Self-compassion has really helped me work through those reactions. I heard something once that often comes to my mind these days—what someone says well-nigh us tells us increasingly well-nigh them and how they see the world than it is information well-nigh us. I find this really helpful considering I used to take every single thing someone said well-nigh me as truth, but seeing that people are seeing us through the lens of all their wounds and experiences takes the sting yonder a bit.”

4. Perfectionism vs. our innate momentum for excellence

“What you said resonated so much with me (and a big yes to the pocketknife in the heart analogy!)— expressly that the desire to stave criticism is what has caused or unsalaried to your perfectionism. I finger exactly the same way. Now I work really nonflexible on trying to icon out when something is just my innate momentum for excellence or when it’s increasingly a perfectionism driven by fear/avoidance.”

5. How it helps to build our self-esteem

“I used to hold onto criticism much increasingly when I was younger, and it hurt terribly. Working on myself and towers up my self-esteem was integral to healing. I used to work with a superabound who was hair-trigger of everything I did, and I dreaded going to work every day. One day I decided to uncork therapy, and soon I built up unbearable energies to wield to graduate school. Once I got in, I put n my two-weeks notice. Going when to school was an investment in myself.”

6. Other people’s opinions are none of our business

“This is still something I’m working on for myself, although I’ve had huge growth in this area. I once read somewhere or heard someone say that ‘what other people think of you is none of your business,’ and I try to remember that if I get that sting.”

7. People who criticize often lack courage

“Criticism can indeed be hurtful. It can be good to remember that people who criticize are often either unaware of how much work you put into doing that which they are criticizing, or they are taking out their own frustration on you. For many people, it’s increasingly ‘comfortable’ to criticize others who have the valiance to do something than to unquestionably do something themselves.”

8. Criticism isn’t unchangingly true

“I’ve come a long way working with the deep sting of criticism and feeling the pocketknife in my heart. There are moments I still finger the deep sting, but it doesn’t ‘take me out’ in the way it used to. Often, I ask myself ‘is this really true what they said?’ That helps me to come when to myself, withal with breathing. I am soothed when I see the criticism is simply not well-nigh me! A work in progress going forward.”

9. Hurt people hurt people

“Criticism is so hard, expressly considering everybody wants to be wonted and respected for who they are, and the judgments of others can be nonflexible to bear. Depending on our mindset and self-acceptance/self-confidence, it can make us see ourselves as less than if we do not have the right tools in place. I unchangingly try to remember the simple truth that ‘hurt people hurt people.’”

10. When criticism gets to you, it’s considering you care

“I found it quite emotional reading all the posts and having my intense and long-lasting reaction to criticism normalized. I have struggled with this for a long time. I had a similar thing to you, Julie, with a scuttlebutt in a survey. It was a really mean, unthoughtful commentf well-nigh a presentation I gave, and coming from someone well respected in my field of work, it was nonflexible to take and still gets to me years later. It is helping so much to reframe it as an issue they have rather than a lightweight of mine! It’s a very empowering feeling. I am moreover trying to gloat the fact I find criticism nonflexible knowing that it’s considering I superintendency so tightly well-nigh doing things well and with care.”

What well-nigh you? What helps you take the sting off criticism?

**Some of the polity comments have been edited for clarity and grammar.

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