I Felt Like I Didn’t Belong: 5 Lessons from a Former Misfit

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” ~Maya Angelou

In my final year of upper school, I had a horrible breakup. I was heavily tying to my girlfriend because, with her, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. Growing up in Germany, of Arabic roots, made me finger like I belonged nowhere. I didn’t finger German nor Arabic.

With her, I finally thought I had a place somewhere. So when this relationship ended, all I wanted was to escape. I hoped a transpiration of location would solve my problems. So, without graduation, I packed my stuff, booked a one-way ticket, and fled to Australia.

My early days in Australia were anything but idyllic. Arriving there, not knowing anyone and barely worldly-wise to communicate in English, I felt lost like never before. During the first month, I was constantly rival self-doubt. It seemed as if this was the first time anyone had overly experienced the harshness that can trailblaze travel. I felt like a loser.

Everybody virtually me seemed to enjoy their trips. They seemed to have found their place. Every conversation I had felt so awkward.

I was tightly red-faced of my English, so I isolated myself. I wanted to go home, but without telling everybody I was planning to leave, I promised myself not to requite up. But the truth was, again, like in Germany, I felt like a misfit. The sense of isolation I had felt when home was still with me. It was so alive. It was like living in a nightmarish loop—unable to escape my loneliness and alienation.

Two months into my stay, I sat on a seat in Sydney, consuming junk supplies and rival the urge to requite up. Nothing had changed. I felt out of place, had made no friends, and was utterly miserable.

At that low point, I was reflecting on my time in Germany and I had a realization that, looking when at it now, reverted my life: I had taken my problems with me. My issues were well-nigh increasingly than just a specific location. They were within me. I was responsible for my misery, isolation, and inability to fit in. The problems I had left in Germany had taken a new form in Australia.

This insight was superincumbent but made me stand up from this seat with a new sense of resolve.

The pursuit day I checked into a new hostel. I promised myself to alimony trying, push myself to speak English, and make a conscious effort to form connections with fellow travelers. It wasn’t easy at first, but I became increasingly well-appointed speaking as time passed. I started to trust myself more. I began to make friends, people started asking me if I wanted to join them on trips, and people were interested in my past.

Following my realization on this bench, this month was one of my life’s best. In this month, I made deep, lasting friendships that I still have to this day.

Ultimately, I stayed in Australia for scrutinizingly a year and had a unconfined time. I left Germany and was homesick, and I left Australia with newly gained conviction and trust in myself. Since then, I’ve traveled to over twenty-five countries. It became my nature to go to new places, and I no longer have the same issues fitting into a new context.

Also, I reverted my relationship with Germany. Every time I go back, I embrace and like it. Ironically, the struggle to escape my roots worked a deeper connection to my German and Arabic origins. I smile when I squint back. I was so ready to requite up. I was at the lowest point of my life. One realization, one thought on this bench, reverted the undertow of my life.

Now I want to share with you the key lessons I learned from my time in Australia.

1. Trust life.

Life puts us in difficult situations that ultimately lead us to grow. My time in Australia was a gift, particularly those first two challenging months. They forced me to confront my internal struggles, the issues I had been unwilling to face. I believe that life knows what it is doing and is working for us, not versus us. This holds true for me to this day.

2. Take responsibility.

In Germany, I had a habit of playing the victim, blaming my circumstances and culture unpeace for my unhappiness. While those issues were real, supporting that I was moreover a part of the problem was liberating. Understanding that I had the power to transpiration my situation was the first step toward very change.

3. Be persistent.

In Australia, I came tropical to giving up and returning home. Looking back, I realize that would have been a huge mistake. The weightier year of my life and experiences that reverted the undertow of my life followed that initial struggle, reminding me that persisting through tough times can lead to trappy outcomes.

4. Hard times are necessary for growth.

Those two months in Australia were some of the hardest in my life. The loneliness I felt was crushing. However, looking back, those challenging times were moreover when I grew the most. I ripened resilience and a largest understanding of myself, which I wouldn’t trade for anything.

5. Be a zippo sheet.

One of the most powerful lessons I learned throughout my travels was the power of unescapable each new situation like a zippo sheet.

For far too long, I unliable my past experiences and hurts to dictate my present and future. I was constantly recreating my past wherever I went, not giving my life story a endangerment to transpiration or evolve. I carried heavy, invisible valise of past failures, rejections, and loneliness that kept me rooted in a narrative no longer serving me.

It wasn’t well-nigh forgetting or denying what had happened but not letting it tenancy my present and future.

Like a zippo sheet, indulge yourself to be open, to receive new experiences, change, and learn.

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